Lessons in how my body works...

As strange as it seems, I have spent much of the past week trying to work out what the sensations and feelings I have been having, mean.

What is that feeling??? Does it mean I have had enough? Is it that I have over eaten? Is it just an artifact of healing or fighting the infection?? I really have been struggling with the trying to equate one behaviour or action with the sensation.

I have been still feeling that shoulder pain on a regular basis. For a while it was when I thought I had eaten some cold stuff, then it happened with hot stuff.... What is happening here? Oh well, time will tell.

As far as the leakage goes, it is still being a bit yukky (techo term I know, but it seemed appropriate)... The volume has diminished and the pain levels of the wound site are diminishing. The antibiotics seem to be working and I am not doubled over in pain when I stand anymore. I was asked today how I felt out of 10, and i said that it was about a 6...

Thats not too bad I guess. The thing is, I generally feel a whole lot better overall, but the ongoing painful niggles are just a PITA.. (well, belly/neck/side/and other non descript places)

Of another point of interest, I have been testing my blood sugars and given that I have not taken any diabetic medications since surgery, I have not had any high readings. Is this attributable to the smaller amounts of food (albeit that some are sugar laden) or the fact that I may have crossed the weight threshold that has caused the issue?? Who knows?? The great thing is that despite the slight difficulties to date, there is positive movement on some of the more serious issues!!

Onward....




Tags: Surgery Obesity weight+loss Personal Diet Lap+Band Journey Scales

Hmmmm, I am leaking....

Time for the "Short Story"???

It seems I am leaking...
I had to go to the surgeon to follow up on what appeared to be an infection at one of the wound sites. It is the largest of the wounds and is the location of the port (where they inject to place fluid in the band)..

I have been having some pretty intense pain for a couple of days and the day before yesterday, I "sprung a leak" from the wound site. Not to get too icky about it, as it is a good thing as when it drains a large chunk of the pain dissipates as the pressure drops.

Dr MOF aspirated some fluid from the wound, took a swab for pathology, and squeezed and prodded a bit more. It was not "painful" rather some odd little sensations... I am getting good at the sensations aspect of what is going on.

If there is an infection around the port site, it will mean another couple of procedures to remove it, allow healing, and then replace it some 6+ weeks later.... Joy oh bloody joy!!! However, with luck, we may have got the antibiotics going in time, and the site may clear up, and well, it all may be ticketty-boo!

Given my current run, I am sure I wont be betting on the Melbourne Cup!!! I want all my "luck" focussed on this little hiccup...

I am taking all of this in my stride (I think) and know that things will be better in the future, regardless of what the present holds. I am now officially (in my own mind) "allergic to pain”... When I feel pain, I feel like crud!! I am not sure I want to go through a desensitisation program though! :) (on the other hand, the visit to the hospital puts a lot of my whinges into perspective, and they become just that, whinges)

Interestingly, I arose this morning without much tenderness, BUT, if the last few days is a guide, that will pass in a bout 10 hours and this afternoon bed will call to make things feel better..

Good news is, that I have had very little shoulder pain recently!

Onwards (down the highway, albeit a little bumpy right now)





Tags: Surgery Obesity weight+loss Personal Diet Lap+Band Journey Scales

Ohh, and I stood on scales yesterday... Yehaaaaa

I stood on scales yesterday when I visited the surgeon...

From the time I started this journey, I have lost a total of 49kg...

For the start 18months ago til Novemeber last year, I lost 19kg on my own...

Novemeber last year to October this year I lost another 11kg on my own...

From pre-Optifast til 10 days post surgical, another another 18+ kg!!!

A grand total of 49kg.... I have to slow down the weight loss to something safer, and I guess that 4+days of absolutly nothing but IV fluids helped a bit, but nothing that I want to do again!!!

Realistically, I want to lose about 40kg more.... Albeit slowly.

Onwards and downwards (weightwise)








Tags: Surgery Obesity weight+loss Personal Diet Lap+Band Journey Scales

Infection???

One of the things I have had to watch out for is the possibility of infection of the wound sites.

For the first week things ere fine but there was always a bit of tenderness over the largest of the incisions.

Yesterday I had to visit the surgeon to get an antibiotic prescription for what was a alight infection of the largest incision and the point where the drain was placed.

For some reason, things got a little more intense yesterday afternoon with the pian levels going pretty high as I stood up. A bit of pain relief helped, and the antibiotics were started.

This morning, I poked at the wound site and started "leaking".. Hmmm, after a bit of "milking" I felt significant relief as some of the pressure that had built up in the wound site had been released.

Yet another of the things to watch out for had been realised. I get the feeling that even though I am vigilant with the hygiene stuff, I am going to be "tested" through this whole thing.

The whole process has an underlying feeling of “piss-offed-ness” that it all cannot go smoothly for me as it has not done, so why the issues all along.. I have always been outside the norm!! I don’t suppose I mind that, but this time it is just bloody uncomfortable.

As I read this back, I am doing the whole self-pity thing… But hell bells, I want to, so I will. It will only last a short time.

Oh well, onwards????





Tags: Surgery Obesity weight+loss Personal Diet Lap+Band Journey Scales

A Sunday to forget..

Remember recently I spoke of the shoulder pain.... Well, today I am gonna say it sucks!!

Pretty much all day yesterday I was getting stabbing pains int he shoulder, and no end of rubbing was going to get rid of it.

Every time I ate, drank sat up it bloody well hurt. It was only when I went to bed last night that I lay down on my stomach and it stopped... INSTANTLY!!!

Whoa, what I time to learn about that! Sleep did come easy after that.

I guess the good thing is that I know this will pass and it is all for a good cause (so to speak)

I went to my Sunday sauna and was greeted by all and sundry very warmly. I am not sure that they realise that if it were not for them, I probably would not have taken these steps on the banding expedition. As I was reminded of last night, some were not so gentle in their "encouragement" but in hindsight, I do not recall anything other than concern and love.

Dinner last night was a little wanton soup, with well masticated mince pieces and followed by a delightful roman custard (backed to perfection by Zany)... I still do not feel hungry! I do want to eat as I am craving flavour, and now, more so, texture. Gee, to crunch down on an apple is the things dreams are made of!! (How sad is that???)

The bizarre thing is that I am eating foods that I would not normally eat because I need a lot of nutrition in small amounts. I have not had to take any diabetes meds as my BSL's are well within the good range.

There is a bit of me that is disturbed by the idea of going to KFC and getting a small potato and gravy and knowing that that will be all I can tolerate. I was wondering, could you go there without smelling the chicken?? (Not that I have had KFC chicken for many many months)

Dietician appointment is later this week... (I am interested to see what the scales say them)

Anyway, enough of me today... Onwards







Tags: Surgery Obesity weight+loss Personal Diet Lap+Band Journey Scales

Hmmmm thats what it feels loke to be pain free???

Today has been a bit of a first.

I awoke, got up, drank a bit of juice... and was not in any pain at all!!

Nice feeling, I have to say. Even the wound sites were good.

I took the opportunity to go out today to the session (folk music) at the the Muddy Farmer, drank a bit of juice, severely masticated a chip or two and enjoyed some good company!!

Now that I am home, I am feeling a bit weary, but looking forward to maybe going to a movie tonight.. We will see.

Hmmmm Normality is striding back into my life..

Onwards




Tags: Surgery Obesity weight+loss Personal Diet Lap+Band Journey Scales

Thursday morning... 2:24 am.

I awoke after 2 hours sleep with shoulder pain... Damn it hurts (a lot)...

I usually check emails and the like and decided to go back to the start of the blog and read it from start to finish.

It really has been a journey and a half to get here.

I started the blog to let friends know what was happening, and it has become far more than that for me. It is a reference with clear historical markers of my journey, the motivating factors, my "head space" at the time and some interesting "special" events. It charts some down times, and marks points of celebration...

Re-reading it has been cathartic, particularly the comments from people, and a real lift.

The shoulder pain has passed, and I need to sleep now.

Onwards to sleep

Goodnight!

Oh, I just looked at the title of this post, and it reminded me of one of my favourite songs, Simon and Garfunkle’s Wednesday Morning 3 A.M (P.Simon). I particularly love the description of the girl on the bed beside me... I see that every night (and I love it)

I can hear the soft breathing
Of the girl that I love,
As she lies here beside me
Asleep with the night,
And her hair, in a fine mist
Floats on my pillow,
Reflecting the glow
Of the winter moonlight.

She is soft, she is warm,
But my heart remains heavy,
And I watch as her breasts
Gently rise, gently fall,
For I know with the first light of dawn
Ill be leaving,
And tonight will be
All I have left to recall.

Oh, what have I done,
Why have I done it,
Ive committed a crime,
Ive broken the law.
For twenty-five dollars
And pieces of silver,
I held up and robbed
A hard liquor store.

My life seems unreal,
My crime an illusion,
A scene badly written
In which I must play.
Yet I know as I gaze
At my young love beside me,
The morning is just a few hours away.





Tags: Surgery Obesity weight+loss Personal Diet Lap+Band Journey Scales

A bit of a blue funk this morning...

I woke up early this morning feeling pretty down. Partly coz it was 4:20am and I was hurting a lot, and partly coz I was thinking over the past few days and wondering if it was all worth it.

Now, the self-pity lasted until about 2pm today... I got back to bed at about 6.30 and slept until 9:30 and it was the sleep of the dead!! No pain, no waking moments, just good sleep!

I have been having a really difficult time getting fluids down my throat, to the tune of only about 800ml yesterday. My blood sugar was quite low this morning (not dangerously low but as low as I have ever had it) and I was feeling quite light headed and not myself.

I had a pee this morning and just about had a coronary until I realised that the colour was due to the Supadyn multi-vitamin (sort of like Berocca) that I had yesterday... It was looking for a second like I was VERY dehydrated. This along with the light-headedness was all conspiring to get me concerned.

For a moment there I was wondering what it would take to get the band out and call all of this a bad dream. The feeling passed...

At lunch time (for the want of a better description), I made a call to the nurse that I saw as part of the pre-operative checks and information sessions and left a message. She called back an hour or so later and we discussed some of the issues and a bit about what I was experiencing.

One of the things that has really been concerning was this pain I was getting that was shooting into the shoulder near the neck. Because I had escaped the referred pain in the post surgical day, I figured it was not going to be a problem... Not the case buckeroo!!! This was a classic case I was told, and I have managed to work out it is when I eat and the stomach pouch fills… Yet another motivation not to eat???

Shortly after I had the chat with the nurse, DR. MOF called me to follow up.

I must say that after I had spoken to the both of them, I felt my spirits lift. I was not imagining things, and the experiences were not out of the ordinary.

The bottom line is.. I had a second surgery, it will take a bit of time to recover and heal (allow the swelling to go down) as it was significant work. IN the long run, it will come good.

You know what the really bizarre thing is?? I have not felt hungry since Thursday last week! Sure I would like to eat, but there was no HUNGER!!!

I do not recall what this feels like, not being hungry all of the time…

So, tonight, I am sucking on a COLD slurpy (my first in over 12 months) and it feels good! It will give me a bit of sugar to help with the BSL, and did I mention it feels GOOD???

I am also feeling good in myself, a really huge change from this morning. And I have to say, that each time I get a call from someone, or they email with a message of support, or leave a message on this blog, I get a lift!

Kudos to you all for being there for me. I really need/ed it.







Tags: Surgery Obesity weight+loss Personal Diet Lap+Band Journey Scales

Surgery.... DONE!! (Twice)

It is Tuesday morning and I finally got out of the hospital on Monday (mid afternoon)...

To say that my time in hospital was carefree would be a lie, but it has been a bit of an eye opener!

I had my initial surgery on Thursday afternoon and from all reports it went well. When I awoke Friday morning, I was given some tablets to help with pain and then something was clearly wrong. I was able to swallow, but everything I swallowed come back up.

Dr MOF came by and we went thought the possibilities, decided that the swallow test (x-ray) needed to be done and it showed that nothing was passing the band. It was too tight for now.

We decided to wait it out over the weekend to see if the swelling came down of its own accord. I spent the weekend unable to process even saliva (YUCKKY).

BY Sunday afternoon it became pretty clear that this would not work without an intervention, so less than 30mins later I was being processed for surgery (fasting was not an issue). I felt like I had a really difficult time through recovery, but maybe that was just my head working in strange ways after the anaesthetic.

After a pretty sleepless night, I awoke with a feeling that I had not had the previous time, and that was the ability to swallow down saliva without it revisiting me. Hmmmmm this was nice!!!

Wow, breakfast (after fasting for 4 whole days), it consisted of a bowl of clear soup and in normal times it would have just been an insipid bowl of stock flavoured water, but to me the 5 or 6 spoons full were heavenly!!! And sips of water, wow cool water.

This is how it should have been!!

Now, what went wrong?? Well, nothing went wrong. The band was placed correctly, and no other damage done, but it seems that part of the problem can be if the band situates over a layer of fat around the stomach.

Apparently this is a less than 1 percent issue, and happens sometimes with big blokes. The resolution was to go back, undo the band (that was still in situ as expected) and "de-fat" where it was placed. Apparently the site got a bit "oozey" and this necessitated that a drain be placed for the recovery phase. Now, let me tell you about the drain!!! It was just another bit of kit they have hanging off you for your wellbeing, like the drip stand that I became very intimate with (took it to bed 3 nights in a row, took it with me for walks, had breakfast with it, I am sure it would have held my hair back if I threw up, such was the bond we developed... It woke me up regularly through he night and day, just like a snoring or tossing and turning woman.... Get the picture??

Well the drain is a tube that is placed in the wound with constant suction applied to get any "free" blood or fluids out of the wound site... Worked a treat, and I got the good news that it would be able to come out.

I had a student nurse (3rd year, just about to graduate) working on me with her preceptor, and it was interesting hearing what it was, how to get it out, the pitfalls that may befall the unaware nursing staff etc etc etc. This I found interesting until she said: "This would be painful, it is just a strange sensation...." I hate the "this wont hurt a bit" comments, don't you?

Well, Student Nurse does what she had to by removing the retaining stitches, good so far, then grabs the hose (some what akin to a garden hose in my mind) and starts pulling, and pulling..... and pulling until I hear, "WOW, that was longer then I thought!!"

Now the experience was not "painful" but it was the damnedest feeling of your intestine being tugged out.... I felt the tube unwrap itself from my entrails (in here, around there, up here, down there and OUT!) I really do want to return this experience to the sealed memory box, even thinking about it has my stomach turning a little.

Anyway, after a lunch of strained soup, a spoonful of (well, half a spoonful) of jelly and a sip or two of water laid back and waited to see what would happen.. Nothing!! YAYYYY!!

Out came the IV entry, new dressings and I was out of there.

The thing that happened that I was hoping for did! I was not hungry the whole time I was in hospital, but I do feel the need now for a bit of fluid) Hunger pangs just for the hell of them are gone...

Now it is just up to keeping up with the recovery plans, and I cannot wait till I get some solid food in about 2 weeks!!

I have to say that the respect I have always had for nursing staff has been reinforced. Where would we be without those who choose these sorts of careers... Thanks to all of them!

And also, thanks to you all who called in, emailed, and phoned. It was really nice to see a face or two every so often, to break the self-pitying moments.

Oh, and if you want to lose weight, I can recommend the 2 weeks of Optifast, followed by 4 days of NOTHING but IV fluids and self pity, as being effective, but not desirable! I have not stood on a scale this week, but will report back later!

Onwards and lighter



Tags: Surgery Obesity weight+loss Personal Diet Lap+Band Journey Scales

Todays the day!

I was surprised that I was able to sleep so well last night. I was anticipating a bit of a toss and turn night. Perhaps the nightshift the night before was the contributing factor! As it was, apart from the snappy and jump down your throat mood I was in yesterday (more attribyutd to nightshifts that I am unused to), sleep came pretty easily and I slept the sleep of the unconcerned!

I have awoken today with no feeling of apprehension. Well, not about the afternoon, but more about finding something to wear as pyjamas (that can be worn in public)...

So, off to the shops, search for some boxer shorts, bring home wash and have dry and ready to go.

Timetable for today is:

• Shop, wash dry new purchases, food (if you want to call it that) and water at 9am, then fast until surgery time.
• Head to the hospital for 11am admission (a barrage of paperwork) and then a bit of a read/snooze before pre-operative meds and surgery scheduled for 4pm.

I am sort of hoping I don't remember anything about the rest of the day until tomorrow morning. In fact I am looking forward to the sleep.

If all is good, and I can swallow a bit of fluid tomorrow, it is home time. It seems the xray they do to check placement has gone by the wayside if there are no issues swallowing.

On another point, I have been innundated with messages of support, care, and best wishes.

Thanks for the good thoughts! It has been refreshing and dare I say, humbling, to have so many people ring or message! (there goes another one now)

More soon.

and thanks again!




Tags: Surgery Obesity weight+loss Personal Diet Lap+Band Journey Scales

Preadmission capers.B-Day-48hrs

It was a bit of a full on day today... Because it had been so long since I had seen Dr MOF (the surgeon), I went to see him today and decided to do the pre-admission assessment and interview afterwards.

Dr MOF was his usual delightful self and all of the bases covered again regarding the surgery, potential complications and the procedure. I had a few questions to ask as well.

It was also the first time I paid some significant dollars out!! I guess I look at this from a positive point of view when I say that all I could think of at the time was the points that would be accumulated on the credit card...

The preadmission appointment went well... It was a case of MORE forms to fill out, and a blood test (that drained me of bucket loads of blood) from a phlebotomist that was pain free. I have had a good run recently with the blood suckers of the clinical world.

I also had to get an ECG as well.. It was a nice quick turnaround at each location.

I left a little bouyed by the experience, I dont know why apart from it really was time. It seems my surgery will be at about 4pm and 99 times out of 100 I should be out the next day. Dr MOF even said that they don't do the xray any more (UNLESS there is a problem swallowing a little water)

Strangely, I am off to work in about 90 minutes as we have to take the CAD (computer Aided Dispatch) system down for maintenance for a few hours. Wow, a night shift the day before surgery, am I crazy?? Ahhh who cares, it will be fun running a manual dispatch system!!!

So for now, I am feeling really great, expecting to sleep much of toomorrow (and the afternoon after)...

I also cannot thank those friends of mine who have called and provided support over the past weeks. It has been welcomed.

Feelin' good, do do dododo doo!!! (ahh shoot, a medical benefits jingle, noooooooooo)

Hooroo and Onwards





Tags: Surgery Obesity weight+loss Personal Diet Lap+Band Journey Scales

Underlying Trepidation

This week is a bit odd! It is the first time in 18 months that I have had some annual leave. The whole idea of not having to go to work is novel but leads to the situation where I have some down time, and during that time I would normally eat.



Thank the gastonomical gods for low joule jelly!!! Why cant they make jelly that tastes like satay chicken and add a bit of crunch for a texture surprise! Oh well, 3 days to go...



I do have to admit to a little trepidation, but it is not overwhelming and is very easily passed over as a fleeting thought. I am as grumpy as hell though my sense of humour remains...

I have the preadmission assessment appointment tomorrow and a visit to the surgeon toomorrow... Then a night shift at work!! What a day!

Onwards






Tags: Surgery Obesity weight+loss Personal Diet Lap+Band Journey Scales

One week to go.

The Optifast thing is clearly working, if the idea is to be hungry all of the time except for that brief millisecond after consuming a chocolate shake for breakfast!!!

Well, it is not that bad. I get the feeling that weight is dropping off right now, but I really do not have the energy to get out and walk too far right now. Even the geocaching has dropped off the radar a bit recently due to work and work and other stuff.. The ever elusive 500 finds is drawing ever so slowly nearer. I am hoping to hit it this coming week.

The thing about the sudden and severe change of diet has been the low to medium grade headaches that started. They have all but stopped now, so all I have to do is watch the dehydration thing... That means drink 2 litres of water a day or more.

I have had to eat a little lean meat protien to get through these last few days, and it is nice to get something with a bit of flavour in the diet. Lean chiken tenderloins, cooked wiithout oil, but rubbed with a nice curry powder, then drizzled some soy over it... heaven!!! A little bit of protien, no fat but heaps of flavour...

I was sitting down the other evening just craving flavour, and I spy a jar of Vegemite... Hmmmm flavour... I dipped my finger in the jar and had a generous smear. It was delightful, and the hunger pangs disappeared for a bit... The things you crave for.

Oh well, 5 more days of optifast, then L-day.. I have to go to a pre-admission appointment sometime in the next few days. I am now on holidays, but have volunteered to go back to work for a night shift when they have to switch off the computer systems and go to manual dispatch from midnight to 6am. I would not miss that for quids, as it takes me back to the "good old days"! It will be a bit of a challenge food wise, but doable.

I must admit to a bit of trepidation to going in for surgery, but based on all of the research, and minimal complications, I KNOW this is the right thing to do.

Counting the days down!!





Tags: Surgery Obesity weight+loss Personal Diet Lap+Band Journey Scales