Sort of from the start...

To start with, thanks heaps for the positive comments and supportive messages, here, via e-mail and by phone. I really cannot describe adequately what it means to me right now, other than it means a lot.

So, how did this all come about? The decision that is...

Three years ago at Woodford (the folk festival) I did a piece to camera for a video they were doing. I must admit I did not think much more about it at the time or for the next year until people started telling me that they had seem me on the monitor at the Festival Shop. Seems I must have said something that was worth it.

The producer came to me and gave me a copy of the DVD, well, gave is a strong word.... more like swapped money for the DVD! Such is life at the Festival, I did not get to watch the DVD until I was at home a few weeks later.

I was doing the usual “snooze in the air conditioning” trick as I watched it back... You know the thing, drowsy partial attention and all that jazz.

I saw this huge bloke and the first thought that ran through my mind was that he would not be long for this earth. Then there was the realisation that it was me!!!

Hmmm what a kick in the guts.

I knew I was overweight, but this was a total clash with my own view of my weight and body image.

I know this was the start of the whole "I've gotta do something about this" move.

It was not until about six months later, when I went to a Sunday gathering of a group of friends for Yum Cha when I saw another "big lad" aka S, in the group, who had lost a heap of weight. I asked how he was doing and he told me about his "little friend". "Little friend" is what he euphemistically called his lap band.

S told me about the device, the process, his issues and much more at that time, much of which I am sure that just did not make it into my head right then and there. He did offer to talk with me more if I needed it in the future.

During this time I was still putting on weight, I still do not understand why, but it was happening. Such was the increase, my friends, many of which will be reading this, started getting very concerned. Many of you spoke to me, many of you wanted to speak to me but felt I may get offended.

The strange thing is that I NEVER got upset with anyone wanting to speak to me about the “fat” thing, as it was comforting to know that my friends cared enough to be concerned.

To a great extent, this caring was a huge part of a motivation to move forward.

There must have been something in the way in which the cosmos knows what we need at any given time. For some reason, people with lap bands somehow made it into my world. Some I knew about and at least one of them I was blissfully unaware of until she, aka X, took me aside one day to tell me.

What a brave move that was on her part! X had made a promise to herself to not reveal her surgery to anyone at her workplace and subsequently felt it necessary to let me know that she was there and would support me in any way she could if I went ahead with the lap band plan. In hindsight, it was her comments that made it seem doable. When she told me that she had not been hungry for 8 years, that was a clincher.

There is a world of information in the Internet about this surgery and it can be overwhelming. Most of the sites are just trying to sell this procedure, but some have good information, unbiased, true to life experiences. One site was so blunt that it was confronting to say the least.

Next: Support Mechanisms


Tags: Surgery Obesity weight+loss Personal Diet Lap+Band Journey Scales